DDOY Review: Grindhouse Made My Balls Ache

Last October I made the assertion about Grindhouse that, “if your balls do not ache with anticipation for this movie, I question your manhood”. Well, after catching this double feature on Saturday night my balls are still aching. And my manhood was certainly intact. I don’t even know where to start. By far one of the best movie going experiences I have ever had.

Grindhouse Made My Balls Ache

Did it live up to the hype? Yes it did, completely and entirely. I loved every thing about it: the fake trailers, the over the top violence & gore, the casts … everything. Let me remind you all that this movie isn’t for everyone. Even before the first half of Grindhouse, Planet Terror, starts do we have people getting cleaved in two by machetes and topless women.

I honestly don’t know how or why specific things happened during the course of these movies. I do know that it was 100% unadulterated balls to the wall entertainment for 3+ hours. I enjoyed both Planet Terror and Death Proof equally, and would definitely have paid to see both separately. Each film had its own nuances, but they still were able to coexist for an amazing cinematic experience.

The trailers … wow, they were as good as the movies themselves. My favorite was Werewolf Women of the SS, directed by Rob Zombie that had Nick Cage as a guy named Fu Mancho?!?. Brilliant! Naked chicks were getting branded by swastikas and werewolves were firing machine guns. I had never seen anything like it, and I probably never will. Sigh …

Here are two things that I took away from Grindhouse:

  • Rose McGowan is unbelievably sexy … machine gun leg and all. The opening credits for Planet Terror were just fantastic, and she makes for one hell of a gogo dancer
  • Kurt Russell is still the FUCKING MAN. His Stuntman Mike was an amalgam of Jack Burton and Snake Plissken, with a dash of the Bandit. His fate at the hands (or boot) of the equally stunning Rosario Dawson was unreal.

Grindhouse was the best of 2007 thus far, and will only be eclipsed by the greatness that will be Transformers.

Go see it … now.

Entertainment Earth