An Open Letter to the SciFi Channel

Dear SciFi Channel Executives:

I’ve been a fan of your network since I was a little kid, where I got my first exposure to the likes of Battlestar Galactica (70s), the Nightstalker, and Dr. Who. It was always a channel that I could rely on for a good sci-fi/fantasy/horror flick when nothing else was on TV. My true love for SciFi came during my freshman year of college when I discovered Farscape. I came in on the tail end of the run, and was severely disappointed when you guys dropped it. It remains one of the smartests and original shows that has ever been on television; and it was Battlestar Galactica before there was Battlestar Galactica. Granted you threw us ‘Scapers a bone with The Peacekeeper Wars … but we’re still jonesing for more.

Now you have a bona fide hit in Battlestar Galactica, which is unfortunately beginning its final season this fall with BSG:Razor. There was much hype about a new series based on scifi’s most beloved properties … Flash Gordon. I was giddy at the prospect of hearing that beautiful Queen soundtrack each Friday night as I fired up the TiVo. Well, that anticipation has faded after three episodes because Flash Gordon is a giant steaming pile of shit. This show is horrendously bad. It’s so bad I’d rather watch Mansquito or Frankenfish again. Sure Eric Johnson’s Flash looks the part, but as a viewer I can’t make the connection. And Ming?!? What the fuck is that about? My favorite part is the transition to Mongo (err Canada) … fwoosh into a “rift” and then “Oh look, the sky is orange we must be on another planet”.

There is so much potential for this property and you drove it into the “serious sci-fi” range of BSG. Why couldn’t you have fun? There aren’t any rocket ships, weird lizard guys, or half naked chicks. There is a reason why that 1980 film version is widely beloved among the nerdery … because it’s over the top and has a hero that you can’t help but root for. All this show ends up looking like is a shitty ripoff of Sliders. The only thing that show had going for it was Gimli and Kari Wuhrer, and occasionally some dinosaurs. What does this new Flash Gordon have going for it? NOTHING. This show stinks, and I have a hard time believing it will make it past Thanksgiving. Good job at fucking over another property SciFi, you’re getting rather good at it. Perhaps you could give me an answer as to why this abortion of a show got a 22-episode order and BSG gets shafted after 4 seasons?

You Guys Stink.

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