I have to commend Wizard for putting together a very diverse programming slate over the four day run of Wizard World Philadelphia Comic Con.  I will be in attendance at some point during the course of the show, but I have a feeling that I will be avoiding Saturday all together.  For the last two years Saturdays have traditionally been overly attended, which means longer lines and smellier body odor.

With bypassing Saturday it does pain me to have to miss out on the William Shatner Q&A and the Serenity/Firefly Panel with Gina Torres, Summer Glau, Adam Baldwin, and Jewel Staite.  Check out the full schedule after the jump!

Thursday, May 30
4:00 – 4:45pm One Small Step For Fans: Browncoats In Space (Room 109)
4:00 – 4:45pm Creating A Web-Series In Today’s Market Place: Simply, Crest (Room 111)
5:00 – 5:45pm Getting Your Comic Books Signed And Protecting Your Investment (Room 109)
5:00 – 5:45pm Drawing Cult-Classics To Fairytales To Old School Comic Books (Room 111)
6:00 – 6:45pm Creativity That Lasts (Room 109)
6:00 – 8:00pm Skull World Screening (Room 111)
7:00 – 7:45pm The Return Of Audio Drama (Room 109)
8:00 – 10:30pm Con Bro Chill VIP Concert – VIP Badge Holders Only – All Ages (Trocadero Theatre, 1003 Arch St.)

Friday, May 31
1:00 – 1:45pm Gam3r: Be As Famous As The Games You Play (Room 108)
1:00 – 1:45pm Writing Captivating Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Horror Comics & Novels (Room 109)
1:00 – 1:45pm Teen Manga: New Era G (Room 111)
1:00 – 3:00pm Sci-Fi Speed Dating (Room 112)
1:00 – 1:45pm Linda Blair Q&A (Room 113)
1:00 – 1:30pm Alliance Larp Combat Demo (Cosplay Stage)
1:00 – 2:45pm Zenescope Portfolio Review (Booth 417)
2:00 – 2:45pm Hollywood And Comics (Room 108)
2:00 – 2:45pm How We Got Here (Room 109)
2:00 – 2:45pm Wanna Make Your Own Toy? (Room 111)
2:00 – 2:45pm Wibbly Wobbly Time: A Doctor Who Panel (Room 113)
2:00 – 2:30pm Imperial Klingon Forces Photo Ops (Cosplay Stage)
2:30 – 3:00pm Spawn Photo Ops (Cosplay Stage)
3:00 – 3:45pm Kevin Sorbo Q&A (Room 108)
3:00 – 3:45pm Pen And Ink: Making An Old Style New Again (Room 109)
3:00 – 3:45pm Stan Lee Meet And Greet – Paid Event (Room 110)
3:00 – 3:45pm Creating Characters That Readers Love To Hate (Room 111)
3:00 – 3:45pm Basic Costuming, Fx Makeup & Armor-Like Creation (Room 113)
3:00 – 3:30pm Rob Prior: Two Handed Art Demo (Cosplay Stage)
4:00 – 4:45pm The Fun Side Of Comics And Graphic Novels (Room 108)
4:00 – 4:45pm Jason David Frank Meet And Greet – Paid Event (Room 110)
4:00 – 4:45pm Topps In 2013: The Year Of Sci-Fi (Room 111)
4:00 – 4:45pm Ray Park Q&A (Room 113)
4:00 – 5:00pm Superhero Photoshoot (Cosplay Stage)
5:00 – 6:00pm Marvel: Breaking Into Comics The Marvel Way (Room 108)
5:00 – 6:30pm Webcomics Bootcamp (Room 109)
5:00 – 5:45pm Animation In Today’s Industry (Room 111)
5:00 – 7:00pm Sci-Fi Speed Dating (Room 112)
5:00 – 5:45pm James Marsters Q&A (Room 113)
5:00 – 5:45pm Michael Rooker Q&A (Terrace Ballroom)
6:00 – 6:45pm Movie And Puppet Improv With Deleted Scenes! (Room 108)
6:00 – 6:45pm Flashfall/The Joe Files Cosplay And Fanfilms Panel (Room 111)
6:00 – 6:45pm Stan “the Man” Lee Q&A (Terrace Ballroom)
6:00 – 7:00pm Barbizon Models Fashion Show (Cosplay Stage)
7:00 – 9:00pm 80’s Night With Andrew McCarthy: Presented By Awesomefest (Terrace Ballroom)
8:30 –11:00pm Wizard World Presents Super Art Fight – 21 And Over (Tavern On Broad, 200 S Broad St)

Saturday, June 1
11:00 – 11:45am Vampire Lore And Other Urban Myths And Legends With Dr. Rebecca Housel (Room 108)
11:00 – 11:45am Cheap And Dirty Cosplay: Lessons From Shewolf Cosplays (Room 109)
11:00 – 11:45am Jason David Frank Meet And Greet – Paid Event (Room 110)
11:00 – 11:45am Curtis Sliwa Q&A (Room 111)
11:00 – 11:45am Philly Geek: What To Do In Philadelphia Area Fandom The Other 363 Days Of The Year! (Room 113)
11:00 – 12:00pm Star Trek Photo Ops W/ USS Sovereign NCC-75000 And The Imperial Klingon Forces (Cosplay Stage)
12:00 – 12:45pm Grimm Fairy Tales Animated (Room 108)
12:00 – 12:45pm Storytelling With Michael Golden: Taking It To The Next Level (Room 109)
12:00 – 12:45pm The Next Evolution Of Zombie: Romper Zombie! (Room 111)
12:00 – 12:45pm Kris Holden-Ried Q&A (Room 113)
12:00 – 12:45pm Zenescope Portfolio Review (Booth 417)
12:30 – 1:15pm William Shatner Q&A (Terrace Ballroom)
1:00 – 1:45pm Costumes + Playing = Cosplay! So What Does That Actually Mean? (Room 108)
1:00 – 1:45pm Creator Spotlight: Doug Sneyd (Room 109)
1:00 – 1:45pm Stan Lee Meet And Greet – Paid Event (Room 110)
1:00 – 1:45pm Building Fantasy Worlds (Room 111)
1:00 – 3:00pm Sci-Fi Speed Dating (Room 112)
1:00 – 1:45pm Henry Winkler Q&A (Room 113)
1:30 – 2:15pm Charmed Reunion With Shannen Doherty, Holly Marie Combs & Brian Krause (Terrace Ballroom
1:00 – 2:00pm Saber Academy Lightsaber Fight Demo (Cosplay Stage)
2:00 – 2:45pm Lauren Holly Q&A (Room 108)
2:00 – 2:45pm Getting Your Comic Books Signed And Protecting Your Investment – Part Ii (Room 109)
2:00 – 3:30pm Marvel Portfolio Review
2:00 – 2:45pm Hip-Hop & Comics: Cultures Combining (Room 111)
2:00 – 2:45pm Superhero Battle Royale (Room 113)
2:00 – 3:00pm Dragonsong Forge Swordsmanship Demo (Cosplay Stage)
2:30 – 3:15pm Buffyfest! With James Marsters, Charisma Carpenter And Juliet Landau (Terrace Ballroom)
3:00 – 3:45pm Aaron & Shawn Ashmore Q&A (Room 108)
3:00 – 3:45pm Wonder Women For The 21st Century (Room 109)
3:00 – 3:45pm Head Smash, The Biggest Graphic Novel Release Of 2013! With Creator Vlad Yudin And Producer Edwin Mejia (Room 111)
3:00 – 3:45pm WWE® Superstar Daniel Bryan® And Wwe® Hall Of Famer Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat™ Q&A (Room 113)
3:00 – 4:30pm Marvel vs DC Photoshoot (Cosplay Stage)
3:45 – 4:30pm The Walking Dead With Norman Reedus, Michael Rooker And Jon Bernthal (Terrace Ballroom)
4:00 – 5:00pm Marvel: From Now! To Infinity (Room 108)
4:00 – 5:30pm Artist Alley 101 With Interrobang Studios (Room 109)
4:00 – 4:45pm U Cre-8 Comics Presents: Character Crafters (Room 111)
4:00 – 4:45pm Giancarlo Esposito Q&A (Room 113)
4:30 – 5:00pm Rob Prior: Two Handed Art Demo (Cosplay Stage)
5:00 – 5:45pm Kickstarting Your Own Project (Room 108)
5:00 – 5:45pm Id Comics Studios – How To Be A Functioning Studio (Room 111)
5:00 – 7:00pm Sci-Fi Speed Dating (Room 112)
5:00 – 5:45pm Jason David Frank: Power Ranger Q&A (Room 113)
5:00 – 5:45pm Firefly With Adam Baldwin, Summer Glau, Jewel Staite, & Gina Torres (Terrace Ballroom)
5:00 – 5:30pm Alliance Larp Combat Demo (Cosplay Stage)
5:30 – 6:00pm Imperial Klingon Forces Photo Ops (Cosplay Stage)
6:00 – 6:45pm An Evening With Steve Guttenberg (Room 108)
6:00 – 6:45pm My Grandmother Wants To Fly Jets (Room 109)
6:00 – 6:45pm Dr. How/Torchwood Cosplay And Fanfilms Panel (Room 111)
6:00 – 6:45pm Artists United (Room 113)
6:00 – 7:00pm Barbizon Models Fashion Show (Cosplay Stage)
7:00 – 9:00pm Police Academy Screening Sponsored By Awesomefest (Room 108)
7:00 – 7:45pm How I Switched From Print To Webcomics And Why (Room 109)
7:00pm – 9:00pm Wizard World Adult Costume Contest (Terrace Ballroom)
9:00pm – 2:00am Official Wizard World Philadelphia Comic Con After Party – 21 And Over (Field House, 1150 Filbert St.)

Sunday, June 2
11:00 – 11:45am From The Microscope To The Big Screen: Creepy Crawlies In Pop Culture (Room 109)
11:00 – 11:45am Why Do They Call Them That? How Mlb Teams Got Their Names And Other Fun Facts (Room 111)
11:00 – 1:00pm LGBT Sci-Fi Speed Dating (Room 112)
11:00 – 11:45am John Barrowman Q&A (Room 113)
11:00 – 12:00pm Junior Saber Training (Cosplay Stage)
12:00 – 12:45pm Compelling Storytelling (Room 109)
12:00 – 12:45pm Jason David Frank Meet And Greet – Paid Event (Room 110)
12:00 – 12:45pm Digital Age (Room 111)
12:00 – 12:45pm Manu Bennett Q&A (Room 113)
12:00 – 12:30pm 66 Batman & Batgirl Photo Ops (Cosplay Stage)
1:00 – 1:45pm Independent Writing And Publishing (Room 109)
1:00 – 1:45pm Doodle! Scribble! Draw! (Room 111)
1:00 – 1:45pm What’s Better Then Superman? Supermen! With Dean Cain & Brandon Routh (Room 113)
1:00 – 2:00pm Whovian/Torchwood Photoshoot (Cosplay Stage)
2:00 – 2:45pm The Geek Culture: We’ve Taken Our First Step Into A Larger World (Room 109)
2:00 – 3:30pm Marvel Portfolio Review
2:00 – 4:00pm Super Art Fight (Room 111)
2:00 – 3:00pm The Green Power Ranger Power Hour (Room 113)
3:00 – 3:45pm Wizard World Kids Costume Contest (Room 113)
3:00 – 4:00pm Junior Saber Training (Cosplay Stage)

*Seating for panels is strictly limited and available on a first served basis. Wizard World does not clear all panel rooms unless attendees are seated in a section that is marked with a sign at the end of the row reading: Row will be cleared at the end of each panel.

Terrace Ballroom will cleared after each panel.

Unless noted, programming events take place in the designated General Programming Rooms at Pennsylvania Convention Center.  Most are included as part of standard Wizard World Philadelphia Comic Con admission; VIP tickets or additional costs may apply to ensure access to select activities, as noted.  

A full list of Wizard World Philadelphia programming is below; further details on each at http://www.wizardworld.com/programming-pa.html (subjects, guests, times and rooms subject to change):

Wizard World Comic Con events bring together thousands of fans of all ages to celebrate the best in pop-fi, pop culture, movies, graphic novels, comics, toys, video gaming, television, sci-fi, gaming, original art, collectibles, contests and more.  Wizard World Philadelphia Comic Con show hours are Thursday, May 30, 3-8 p.m.; Friday, May 31, noon – 7 p.m.; Saturday, June 1, 10 a.m. – 7 p.m., Sunday, June 2, 10 a.m. – 5 p.m.

For more on the 2013 Wizard World Philadelphia Comic Con, visit http://www.wizardworld.com/home-pa.html.

About Wizard World:
Wizard World produces Comic Cons and pop culture conventions across North America that celebrate graphic novels, comic books, movies, TV shows, gaming, technology, toys and social networking. The events often feature celebrities from movies and TV, artists and writers, and events such as premieres, gaming tournaments, panels, and costume contests.

The full event schedule can be found at www.wizardworld.com.

***** SAVE THE 2013-14 DATES *****
May 30 – June 2 – Wizard World Philadelphia Comic Con
June 28-30 – Wizard World Comic Con NYC Experience
August 8-11 – Wizard World Chicago Comic Con
September 20-22 – Wizard World Ohio Comic Con
October 18-20 – Wizard World Nashville Comic Con
November 22-24 – Wizard World Austin Comic Con
January 24-26, 2014 – Wizard World Portland Comic Con
February 7-9, 2014 – Wizard World New Orleans Comic Con
April 4-6, 2014 – Wizard World St. Louis Comic Con

Well it’s been a fun but creatively challenging Star Trek Week here at DDOY HQ.  I’d like to take a moment to say thanks to everyone who commented, submitted ideas, retweeted, and linked throughout the last five days.  I will definitely be pursuing theme weeks in the near future, but for now I need a rest.

So with that, things will shift back to normal here over the rest of the weekend.  However, you can expect my full review of Star Trek Into Darkness early next week.

A very special thank you goes out to Will from WilliamBruceWest.com and April G. for their awesome guest posts.  

Admittedly I was very excited for Nemesis spefically for the fact that Romulans were involved.   During the course of The Next Generation they had some pretty significant story lines and an established history with Picard … how could it go wrong? Let’s count all of the reasons …

A Picard Clone. Fake Data. Picard Clone Mind Raping Troi. A Director Who May Not Have Ever Seen A Single Episode of Star Trek. Data Sacrificing Himself To Save Picard.  Oh Look Fake Data Now Has Data’s Memories.

Seriously STUART BAIRD CAN GET FUCKED. I’m pretty sure he filmed Nemesis while having Wrath of Khan playing on a monitor just out of his field of vision.

“Oh yes, a vital crew member and friend of the Captain should sacrifice himself for the good of the many”.

 

“Where are we having the space battle? Well can’t call it a nebula why don’t we call it a rift instead?”

While I’m sure Baird wanted to make a film in the vein of Wrath of Khan, but the end result than can only be described as a diluted and completely disingenuous to Star Trek fans.  I am a very forgiving person, but Data’s sacrifice in the closing minutes of Nemesis are completely wasted on “resurrecting” him within the neural net of the android B-4 (who is essentially the Cousin Balky of Star Trek).

I can forgive a lot of what happens in Star Trek.  Sure there is a lot of goofy techno-babble and glaring plot holes, but in the end it is about the characters and their journey together.  Over nearly 15 year stretch The Next Generation spawned two other series and four feature length movies.  And that great run was completely squandered after roughly 45 minutes into Nemesis, which is why it is the worst Trek ever.

Today’s guest post comes from April G., a published Internet and traditional print writer, Joomla! webmaster, nerd and wallflower.  Follow here on Twitter @aprilfreelance

I used to be a die-hard Star Trek Next Generation fan.  No other series could hold a candle to it, until I started watching Voyager on late-night syndication after the series had ended.  Having recently completed all 7 seasons of both series on Netflix once again, I have firmly switched allegiances.

The Ship: Voyager was the most technologically advanced of all the starships.  The new Intrepid class vessel was smaller, sleeker, faster, and more maneuverable.  Her neuro-gel packs were the closest Star Fleet had come to building a “living” ship, complete with the vulnerabilities of bacterial infection and dying packs that made for some interesting replicator malfunctions and alien sustenance.  The ship took on its own characterization more than any before her.  While the Enterprise could head for the nearest star base when she needed repairs, Voyager had to limp along the Delta Quadrant under whatever power could be rerouted during repairs, or land on a planet (which the galaxy class couldn’t do) and hope she didn’t rile the natives.  Would any other ship have survived so long during “The Year of Hell?”

The Mission: Voyager was stranded in the Delta Quadrant – an uncharted area of the galaxy from which it could potentially take the crew 75 years to get home.  That journey was the one mission throughout the series.  Home was the driving force behind every plot and every decision of Voyager’s crew, and provided a consistency across all 7 seasons of the show’s run.  The hope of seeing again the Alpha Quadrant was the backbone of the morality, humanity, and vulnerability of the characters.  Whereas the Prime Directive and diplomacy pointed the way wherever writers wished from one show to the next for the other Star Trek series, Captain Janeway’s determination to uphold her promise of getting her crew home, and guilt over her decision that stranded them in the first place, lent a new depth, stability, and occasional Prime-Directive-be-damned conflict.  The only waver from this primary mission was when Janeway tossed all to the wind to carry out Star Fleet’s highly classified “Omega Directive.”

The Species: Voyager retained some of the more familiar Star Trek species: Commander Tuvok and several other Vulcans, B’Elanna the half-Klingon, Seska the Cardassian, Q, Q2, and more Q, and other minor characters.  New, friendly species become a part of the crew in the Delta Quadrant including Neelix the Talaxian junk salvager and Kes the Ocampa with a lifespan of 9 years.  Then there were the villains.  Of course the Borg appeared, as well as previously unknown races hell bent on destroying the intruders from the Alpha Quadrant.  The Kazon factions were locked in a Civil War, and the most powerful Kazon Ogla had a personal vendetta against Voyager plus equal or superior fire power.  The Vidiians possessed the technology to transport vital organs straight out of a living body, which they did with impunity to save themselves from the Phage.

Species 8472 managed to instill enough fear in the Borg that a Voyager – Borg alliance was formed.  Race after new malevolent race was introduced throughout the show, from mass murdering holograms to the predatory Hirogen who trapped the Voyager crew in a WW II holonovel to be tortured, maimed, shot, and healed to be sent back into the story again.

Next Gen always knew that a Romulan, Cardassian, Klingon, Vulcan or Betazoid would be just around the next nebula.  Voyager never imagined who was lurking in the next sector, friend or foe, and still managed to outgun or outsmart the antagonists, or effectively run like hell when necessary.

The Captain: Captain Kathryn Janeway was not the first Star Fleet female captain, but she was the first and only series female captain.  There were many memorable crewmen on Voyager, but Janeway is still the most contended.  Played by Kate Mulgrew, Captain Janeway brought a fresh perspective that allowed Voyager’s writers and producers to delve more deeply into the subjects of humanity, vulnerability, loneliness, and compassion in ways not seen in other Star Trek captains.  She had been a science officer before taking command of Voyager and could operate, repair, or develop any part of the ship from the warp core to genetic medical cures.  Her diminutive frame, with hands on hips or wrapped around a phaser rifle, could hold its own against any diplomat or creature.  And let’s face it: Janeway could stare longingly through a bulkhead window better than any other captain before her.  She never allowed herself to take a lover from the crew serving under her, choosing instead to create her own Irish American hunk on the holodeck.  Fans cried for a Janeway/Chakotay hookup, or even a Janeway/Seven hookup, but Mulgrew herself refused to play into the Playboy sex gratuity seen in the Original and Next Gen series.  Then we get to the captain’s catchphrase.  “Engage” was, of course, a staple.  Picard also had, “Make it so.”  Janeway brought her rural Indiana, Earth, upbringing into it: “Do it!”

I will make one concession.  Janeway was a bad dier, and she died or came near to death a lot.  But hey, Picard’s intoxicated come-on to Beverly Crusher was just as badly comical.

And, since this post is in defense of Voyager, here is your gratuitous Seven of Nine pic, a far superior sexual fantasy to Counselor Troi’s v-neck, gray-and-lavender jumpsuit.

Have you ever sat back and thought about how awesome it would be to get your hands on an actual Klingon Bat’leth? Well the burly blacksmith from the YouTube show Man At Arms has you covered.

During the course of the episode he goes into great detail discussing the creation of the iconic Klingon weapon, and even puts it through its paces … and guess what? It’s a damn murder machine.

I was absolutely astounded at the craftsmanship and attention to that the Man At Arms paid to this project, and interestingly enough he takes requests for future projects through his YoutTube page on the AweMe Channel.

Special thanks to MikeyKirk for bringing this to my attention earlier this week.

As some of you may know, I’ve been a Star Trek fan for most of my life. Back in middle school, my friends and I had the Star Trek Encyclopedia, as well as any tech guide or manual that Simon & Shuster decided to put out. We were the ones watching all those Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns that used to clog up Channel 20′s schedule. As I got older, however, my pallet began to prefer more mature tastes, such as Power Rangers andAqua Teen Hunger Force. I gave up the ghost during Voyager, and I’ve only seen a handful of Enterprise. That said, you can take the boy out of Trek, but you can’t take the Trek out of the boy. My brain’s still full of a lot of useless 24th century knowledge, and every now and then I find myself trying to make sense of it. During an usual bit of insomnia last week, I found myself wondering why, exactly, a human would even want to join Starfleet.

For those not in the know, in the Star Trek Universe, Starfleet is the “Space NATO” to the United Federation of Planets’ “Space UN”. Its members are predominantly human, and it is headquartered in Fort Baker, California. While Starfleet’s primary mission is to explore and seek out new life, things can get pretty tense out in space. Between wars with Cardassians, or lethal electrical feedback, there’s no shortage of danger for a Starfleet officer. Based on current economics and world affairs, I find myself wondering what would inspire a human to join an outfit like Starfleet, as the risks seem to outweigh the rewards. Let’s take a closer look at a few things.

Money: In today’s society, a big reason that people enlist in the Armed Forces is money. Whether they want to provide for their families with their signing bonus, or get in on some of that G.I. Bill money, the financial benefits entice many into joining the service. This, however, isn’t true for the Starfleet cadet. You see, the 24th century is based on what has been called “The New World Economy”. For all practical purposes, Earth has done away with poverty and hunger, but it has also done away with currency. As a sidebar, I don’t really know what I want to do with my life. Whenever I’m looking for work, people always ask me “Well, what would you want to do if money weren’t an issue?” I HATE this question because money is ALWAYS an issue. I just can’t wrap my head around that not being the case. I know that there are people who can, and God bless ‘em, but that’s just not me. So, that’s why I have a hard time understanding why you’d want to go out in space, and risk getting tubes shoved in your ass and ear holes by a bunch of space zombies if there’s no financial gain. That’s too much danger to just write off as “the cost of exploration”!

Sex: Could the lure of Space Pussy be enough to get you to join up? But could you imagine the STDs out there? Or will a hypospray just clear that right up? Also, note that I said Space Pussy and not Space Dick, because the future doesn’t seem too bright for women – utopia be damned. If you’re a young, single woman in Starfleet, you’ll end up phasing through the floor or being killed by a large sentient oil spill. And don’t even try to be a gay male! Over the 40 year franchise, we’ve seen men in miniskirts (the “skant”) & go-go boots, but we were still led to believe that they liked the minge. Have they ever shown a homosexual on Star Trek? The closest they got was that androgynous race, and Riker still couldn’t help himself from giving one of them a bunch of confusing urges. Otherwise, the only gay icons of the 24th century were Major Kira, Tasha Yar, and Harry Kim. No, they never confirmed this, but c’mon…

Technology: If you’re a tech geek, then Starfleet is probably a dream come true. You could join Starfleet Engineering and test out all of the gadgets that you used to read about on your PADD before mandatory lights-out at the mining colony where you grew up. There’s a lot of leeway for experimentation, and there’s no battle for patents and ownership ’cause there’s no money to be had. The worst part, however, is when that technology backfires on you. I’m going to go with the simplest case here. You see, during space battles, the ships are protected by shields. When those shields are struck, it results in electromagnetic feedback that sometimes shoots out of the ships consoles and control panels. Many a Starfleet officer has been killed while simply sitting at his station during the wrong battle. When you graduate from the Academy, they might tell you to watch out for The Borg, but you’ll find that you risk your life just by simply walking down the hall. Observe (the fun starts at 01:18):

Meeting New Races: It might sound exciting to meet a new race of beings, but some of them have some crazy beliefs that you have to put up with. Sure, we’ve got the Scientologists and the vegans, there’s one 24th Century-era race that will KILL YOU IF YOU STEP ON THE FLOWERS! Did I also mention that they worship a giant space chandelier? Aside from little quirky things like that, sometimes you just deal with some straight up, fucked up shit:

Supporting Your Government: OK, I get it. There’s no money to be had, you’re not that into green chicks, and you don’t really mind phasering giant space slugs. Then, what is your incentive? Oh, maybe you’re just really patriotic. After all, your government (which now commands a network of planets rather than just Earth) has created a society in which you are taken care of, and given a chance to be a tool of discovery. Why wouldn’t you want to support a governing body like that? Well, maybe it’s because the United Federation of Planets is just as shady as today’s governmental bodies.

First off, there’s Section 31, which is The Federation’s version of the CIA. Nobody talks much about them, as very few people know that they exist. Not only do they exist, but they’ve had their hands in everything from the Temporal Cold War to the outlawed genetic enhancements that were performed on humans, like Dr Bashir. You may think everything’s well and good, but your government still doesn’t trust you, even in the 24th century. Also, their tactics are questionable, as they engage in full-scale, Jack Bauer level torture. They ended a war by eradicating an entire race. For Section 31, no one is off limits, so they might come for you one day.

On top of that, there’s all the shady stuff that the Federation does to coerce non-member planets into joining. The sheer existence of a bunch of space hippies like the Maquis proves that not everything that the Federation does is liked by all. Sure, you can’t please everyone all of the time, but the Star Trek Universe is based on the assumption that you not only can, but you have. So, why are The Maquis so mad?

So, I know it’s science fiction, and I really shouldn’t overthink it, but I’m just starting to think that the Star Trek Universe posed more questions than it answered. When I was 5, I used to weep at the fact that I’d never live to see the creation of Starfleet. I mean, even if I did, it would’ve been the crappy, Kirk-era Starfleet, and I don’t get down with The Original Series. After some careful thought, however, I’ll take capitalism, with its non-exploding walls and curable-by-penicillin-STDs, any day! The future’s just not for me, but I hope my great, great, great grandson, Hyperflex Westion IV, is a better man than I am, and will find a reason to beam up.

Editor’s note: This article was originally published on WilliamBruceWest.com on March 28, 2011 and was republished in full with permission of the author.  

When I started DDOY in 2006 I had no intention of ever making this an exclusively Star Trek focused blog.  At no point did I ever have the intention of becoming a Star Trek news aggregator or repository for erotic fan-fiction.

Even after seven years I cannot accurately describe what I have accomplished here, but in light of this being Star Trek Week I went through the archives and highlighted some of my favorite Star Trek posts.

Orion Slave Girls Return To Star Trek

The 6 Worst Star Trek Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments

The Sexiest Vulcan Salute I’ve Ever Seen

June 1989, A Kickass Month At The Movies

DDOY Review: Night of the Living Trekkies

I Want To Go Out Like Spock

Someone is Stealing The Enterprise

Would You Hit It? Star Trek Edition

And now for the most ridiculous (and enjoyable) Star Trek: The Next Generation supercut to date, Riker Sitting Down. You’ll never be able to watch an episode of TNG without thinking about Riker’s weird straddling/mounting of every chair on the Enterprise-D

Editor’s Note: Brian from Cool & Collected was gracious enough to include the entire League of Extraordinary Bloggers in Star Trek Week.  So thanks again Brian!

There was a stretch of my childhood that I spent every moment where I wasn’t in school building scaled models. Every birthday, holiday, and all of my allowance went to buying model kits and paint. I built mostly aircraft like B-52 Stratofortresses, Saturn V rockets, F117 Stealth Fighters, even P-51 Mustangs. While they may have been entirely awesome dangling from fishing line from my ceiling, my true love were the AMT/Ertl Star Trek model kits.

For Christmas 1990 I found the USS Enterprise 1701-A model kit from Star Trek V: The Final Frontier underneath the tree. I went into painstaking detail to ensure all of my paint applications were accurate to the filming model; and my only reference material was pausing our VHS copy Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. The time spent assembling that model kit, the time I spent with my Dad on that project is part of the reason that the Enterprise A remains my favorite incarnation.

AMT/ERTL USS Enterprise NCC 1701-A Model kit. Image via Memory-Alpha.org

Over the years I went on to assemble nearly every available AMT/Ertl model kit available. The Enterprise-D, Klingon Battle Cruisers, Klingon Birds of Prey, and even Deep Space 9 were all assembled with care and displayed with pride …. until I discovered girls and over a period of years these cherished model kits found themselves in closets and then eventually the trash. Looking backing now as an adult I can say that remains one of my biggest regrets.

From Around The League

Someone has been drinking and playing with their Star Trek Megos over at Infinite Hollywood

Fortune & Glory (Days) shows off some recently acquired Star Trek Kreons.

It’s all vintage Star Trek Power Records and Borg Bears at AEIOU & Sometimes Why.

In a promotion that coincided with the release of Star Trek III: The Search for Spock Taco Bell released a set of four collectible glasses in 1984. Upon learning of their existence I immediately went about purchasing the one I coveted the most … “Enterprise Destroyed”.

Over the years I have actually purchased “Enterprise Destroyed” on eBay on three separate occasions. I do find a bit of “redshirt” humor being that the glass that kept on breaking just so happened to feature the destruction of everyone’s favorite Constitution-class ship.

The third time around I snapped up the “Spock Lives” glass for next to nothing (I think the eBay seller was feeling bad for me at that point). For collectible glasses that are 29 years old they hold up remarkably well in terms of paint (definitely lead based). Even with regular use and washing they remain some of my favorite Star Trek collectibles.

Unlike other collectible glasses these are actually based on glassware actually seen on screen during Star Trek III: The Search for Spock. There is even one in the Captain’s quarters off the U.S.S. Excelsior.

One side of “Enterprise Destroyed” features the explosion and break up of the NCC-1701. The reverse is a depiction of the scene in which Kirk asks Bones “My God … what have I done”. To which Bones replies, “What you had to do. What you always do: turn death into a fighting chance to live”

This reverse side does a tremendous job of conveying the likenesses of the actors along with the text:

“Scotty, Kirk, and McCoy of the U.S.S. Enterprise watch in safety as the great starship, their home for the last 20 years, self-destructs in the skies above them”.

And for comparison here is a picture of the actual glass versus that emotional scene from Star Trek III: The Search for Spock.

My God What Have I Done?

Few things unnerve hardcore Star Trek fans than Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.  There are several points of contention whether is was the wrestling match between “God” and Captain Kirk, the shoddy production value, Spock’s completely random half-brother, or perhaps even the direction by one William Shatner.

Many consider it to be the worst of the feature films (I personally reserve that spot for Star Trek: Nemesis).  For me STV:TFF has a certain nostalgia factor as it was the first Trek film I saw in theaters with my Dad on opening night.  The theater handed out little pins featuring the Starfleet emblem which was later re-purposed for me very own Star Trek: The Next Generation costume (and that’s an entirely different story altogether).

While the Star Trek V: The Final Frontier does have some faults, the one thing that gives us is some of the best character moments from the Original Crew.

And there is of course the infamous line “What does God need with a starship?”, which has become of a joke in itself after all.  A fun bit of trivia … I seriously considered registering whatdoesgodneedwithastarship.com when I started this blog, but found that it was just a bit too wordy.  

I can look past the Romulans who just look like Asian chicks in shiny dresses.  Did it have the lowest production value in a Star Trek film? Absolutely, but I there is no way that I can even block out the inappropriateness of Naked Middle Aged Uhura.

I look at it this way, if it were not for Star Trek V: The Final Frontier we would have never gotten Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country which in my humble opinion may very well be one of the finest Star Trek films which closed out the Original Crew in the most honorable and fan friendly way possible.