Suck One Patriots Fans

Will Ferrell’s promotional spot for Bud Light and his upcoming movie Semi-Pro was the second best of the night, right behind that new Iron Man one (I’ll talk about that later).

How awesome was it to watch that jello headed Eli Manning march his team to victory against the friggin’ Pats? The look of disappointment and disillusionment on the Pats stupid faces warmed the bottom of my heart. Plaxico Burress’ 4th quarter touchdown capped off one of the best drives I’ve seen in quite some time. Oh and Carl is way unpissed about this whole thing, you’ll probably see him at the ticker tape parade on Tuesday.

Looks Like Carl’s Not So Pissed

Carl appears to be stoked about his NY Giants making it to the NFC Championship game. It’s good to know that it was Carl that was in Tony Romo’s head haunting him like a “panther in the night”. This is perhaps the best sports commentary out there right now, ESPN is a joke. At least we can appreciate Carl’s over the top delivery, Trey Wingo step aside.

Oh that Mangina reference was a little much. But seriously Carl, you’ve got to realize that the Packers are going to roll over the G-Men … Favre is all but unstoppable at this point.

The Mitchell Report Is A Conspiracy … So Says Carl

The Mitchell Report is a joke. I suspend all belief in it when you have the man that’s running it being on the board of directors for the reigning World Series Champion Boston Red Sox. I also give very little credence to the mole man that is Commissioner Bud Selig. How can the man who is in charge of 32 teams and countless billions of dollars in revenue have a vested interest in another franchise … cough cough Brewers? How can you say that there is any integrity within the leadership cadre of the MLB?

The findings of the report I find to be laughable and if anything, it sensationalized the testimony of a couple of guys who were looking at some hard time. I like to consider myself a scientist or sorts, in which I look for empirical evidence to prove a theory. Sure there are cancelled checks, but where are the test results or photographic evidence of Roger Clemens getting a needle in the ass? Regardless I find Carl to be the most succinct in explaining the underlying conspiracy that is the Mitchell Report:

Carl on The BCS & Eli

The Bowl Championship Series is an enigma that defies all logic and is beyond the comprehension of mere mortal men. I don’t know were the actual BCS “computer” is that everyone refers to, but most fans can agree that it is total bullshit. This has been an exciting season for college football, if only for the fact that Temple won 4 games and finished .500 in conference play.

Each week has been full of upsets, especially with that dreaded #2 spot which saw pretty much everyone hold it lose … and lose horribly. Whom do we turn to talk about our frustrations with the BCS rankings? Look no further than Carl, neighbor to America’s favorite anthropomorphic food items, The Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

He pretty much sums it up: Hawaii’s Rainbow Warriors are a joke and Boston Can Suck It!

Prepare for the ATHF:MFfT One Sheet

Big Trouble In Little China PosterMovie posters (one-sheets) aren’t what they used to be; nowadays most are just Photoshopped to hell and relatively bland. My favorite posters are by an artist named Drew Struzan. You may not know the name, but he’s responsible for posters for the Star Wars series, The Goonies, Blade Runner, and some Harry Potter too. My all time favorite poster that he did was for Big Trouble in Little China, which featured prominently the awesomeness of Jack Burton (and quite understandably Kurt Russell is my #1 Man Crush)

TheMovieBlog unleashed with the fury of a thousand suns, the theatrical one-sheet for Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters. I have to say this is one of the best in quite a while. It’s got Master Shake, Frylock, Meatwad and Carl in a Star Wars-esque pose. Not only that but there are ninjas, dragons, and hot chicks riding motorcycles and a frakkin’ volcano. I cannot wait til this goes for sale on Allposters, it will be prominently featured in my home theater … err I mean room.

*UPDATE – As you may see in the comments, I was contacted by a representative from SpecialOpsMedia, who is running the online promotion for ATHF:MFfT. The initial one sheet I had posted was erroneous, in fact it was intended for Europe. Fortunately, my contact provided me with the actual one-sheet, click the thumbnail for an ultra hi-res version.

 Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters - Click for Larger

Boston Got PWNED By The Mooninites

Ignignokt is giving you the finger ... hard A viral marketing campaign for Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters went terribly wrong in Boston this afternoon. ‘Blinking Devices’ were spotted in 10 different locations across the greater Boston area. Things steamrolled, 911 was called … and turns out it was just a Mooninite giving the finger. Boston police shut down bridges, highways and even part of the Charles River. I can understand the cause for alarm, but did they perhaps get a pair of binoculars or do a ‘parameter’ check?

Appropriately enough, I just got done watching a “Mooninite Mayhem” via TiVo. I witnessed the fury and terror of the Quad Laser and trembled ever so slightly. My favorite aspect of this whole non-story is the fact that the mainstream media has to try and explain what the Aqua Teen Hunger Force is.

According to My Way News, ATHF is “a surreal series about a talking milkshake, a box of fries and a meatball. and went to explain the Mooninites as, “two trouble-making, 1980s-graphic-like characters called “mooninites,” named Ignignokt and Err – who were pictured on the suspicious devices. They are known for making the obscene hand gesture depicted on the devices. This is going to do nothing but boost Adult Swim’s ratings and make Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters a moderate success. Way to go mainstream media!

Not everyone is taking this lightly, namely Boston Mayor Thomas Menino who said that he’ll seek to punish those responsible, and indicated that the penalty could be two to five years in prison per count. This is coming from the same man who kicked Opie & Anthony out of town for an April Fool’s Day joke in which they claimed that he died in a car accident. Get over it.