Remember When Captain America Defeated Evil With Hostess Cupcakes? Of Course You Don’t

One of my new favorite pastimes is scouring through comic books of yesteryear in search of the most ridiculous advertisements.  Within the pages of Iron Fist #13 from June 1977 I may have uncovered the greatest one yet in which Captain America does battle with the Sore Sir’s Apprentice.

Captain America & The Sore Sir's Apprentice

Behold! Captain America has been thrust into a confrontation with a plethora of monsters from the laboratory of a wizard known at the Sore Sir.  Being that I’m rather well versed in Captain America’s gallery of villains, I could not find any canonical reference to Sore Sir even after utilizing the power of the Internet.

Captain America vs. The Sore Sir's Apprentice #2

 

Outnumbered and exasperated, Captain America who along with possessing super human strength and near invulnerability is an expert tactician.  After making a threat assessment he found that his only recourse was to pull out some Delicious Hostess Cupcakes, which are immediately recognized by the Sore Sir’s Apprentices

Captain America vs. The Sore Sir's Apprenctice #3

 

And these Hostess Cupcakes were so fucking good that the Sore Sir’s Apprentices swore of their allegiance to their evil wizard master.  Captain America must act quickly now that the Apprentices were distracted by the chocolaty cream filled goodness, springing into action he restrains them and begins a “lesson in citizenship”. The Apprentices seems okay with this turn of events as they really, really liked the Hostess Cupcakes.

A fair amount of research went into this review/analysis of Silver Age advertisement and I urge all of you to not Google Sore Sir’s Apprentice … because you will be taken to a website where you can order amateur BDSM porn that’s produced in a basement somewhere in New York City.  And after this post gets published, I’m sure that StationHouse Video Distribution is going to wonder why they are getting an uptick in traffic on a cold February night.  But hey, if you are into genital mutilation just go ahead and click through.

 

Okay Guys, Even Joss Says There Are No Skrulls In The Avengers

This weekend at SXSW, The Avengers director Joss Whedon put all the rumors to rest regarding the “big bad” we will be seeing once the Earth’s Greatest Heroes unite in multiplexes this June.  During the course of the panel, “A Conversation With Joss Whedon” the director went to point out that neither the Skrull (or Kree) will be seen.  He pointed out that

The Skrulls — they can shape change. That’s a whole thing,” he said. “I’ve already got Loki. He’s got magic. Once you got magic along with your Iron Man and your Black Widow — it’s a real juggling act.”

Whedon also pointed out one of the big problems of involving an alien species like the Skrulls is that they have such a rich mythology on their own.  He wouldn’t want to shoehorn them in (i.e. Galactus in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.)

Those two aliens are Marvel mainstays and have enormous backstories … they have a big life of their own that just could not be contained in a film where I already had seven movie stars

I for one am a little relieved, although if this holds true my wild speculations and musings will have been found to been wholly inaccurate.

Since I read this I went back and review the latest trailer for The Avengers, and I’m really going to go with the magic angle.  We have Loki on Earth, messing with the members of the group turning them against each other.  When that won’t work … he brings some Asgardian magic/tech to reign death and destruction.  But again, this is all speculation and Whedon could just be throwing us off in the build up to May 4th.

Credit: [io9 via Entertainment Weekly]

The Avengers Eye Bones Your Face With Awesome

I’ve watched the latest trailer for The Avengers at least seven times.  Each viewing is met by the same goggly eyed excitement every time.  Four years after Marvel turned the comic movie genre on its ear, we are on the cusp of a superhero team-up movie.  It’s crazy right?

We are getting a live-action feature with Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, The Hulk, Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Nick Fury.  The 12 year old version of me would have not been able to comprehend the sheer awesomeness contained in the 2:30 seconds embedded below for your viewing pleasure.

The CGI looks very, very good.  I’m very impressed with The Hulk, it’s a very classic interpretation but still actually looks like Mark Ruffalo who is portraying his alter ego, Bruce Banner.  And this point, the bad guys have to be Skrulls right? That’s what I’m going with at this point, we will just have to wait until May 4th to find out.

Important Things Happen On The Internet – 6/22/11

Green Lantern is getting slammed on Rotten Tomatoes but this review from Geekadelphia has me believing that it’s still an enjoyable comic book movie. [Geekadelphia]

Hot Toys’ 1/6th Scale Captain America figure is giving me a raging nerd boner. I MUST HAVE IT [Action Figure Insider]

Speaking of raging nerd boners, G4TV’s Alison Haislip should only wear panties on Attack of the Show from now on. [Egotastic]

Apparently Spider-Man is dead. Not that one, the Ultimate one. I know it’s confusing but bear with me. [Major Spoilers]

Despite what the sweaty neckbeards might be saying on the Interwebz, there is no way in hell that Christina Hendrick will ever be cast as Wonder Woman. [io9]

Megan Fox learned a valuable tale, don’t reference the Holocaust in any capacity while working on a project that Steven Spielberg has anything to do with. [I Watch Stuff]

Captain America Minimates Might Make Me A Collector Afterall

I have yet to jump on the Minimates bandwagon, but their recently announced Captain America “Through The Ages” 4-Pack might have me convinced otherwise. The set features four distinct figures. all of which would make worthy additions to my Cap Shelf in my Fortress of Solitude.


Captured in miniature glory, the set includes the following:

    • World War II Captain America
    • Suspended Animation Captain America
    • Armored Captain America
    • Captain America Reborn

A Toys R Us Exclusive, Captain America “Through The Ages” does not have a release date yet.

via [Toyark] & [Art Asylum Blog]

Sadly, Steve Rogers Never Got To Be A Broadway Star

It’s been a goal of mine to reassemble the entire 155-issue run of the Marvel GI Joe books. While perusing some of the issues I picked up at Wizard World a couple of months ago, I came upon one of the most truly awful contests that Marvel has every run in their history.

Cap Never Got To Be A Broadway Star

It’s 1986, and the House Of Ideas decided that the best way to reach out to other segments is to stage a Broadway show. I don’t think Cap ever found a “girl between 10 and 14 who can sing, dance and act up a storm”, and he never got to see his name in lights on the marquee.

So Cap Is Coming Back? That Didn’t Take Long

News broke yesterday that Steve Rogers, the original Captain America would be returning to the Marvel Universe next month in a new series, Captain America: Reborn. Two years ago, Steve Rogers was killed on a court building’s steps after having surrendered in the aftermath of Civil War. In that time his former kid sidekick, turned brainwashed Russian super-agent, Bucky Barnes picked up the mantel.

Steve Rogers Returns As Captain America in July


With Steve returning, what happens to BuckyCap?
Well I’m sure all of our questions will be answered, as Marvel PR was quick to get this in front of the press:

Captain America is making a miraculous recov
Two years after Marvel Comics knocked off its famous star-spangled superhero, he’s gonna be back and better than ever.

“The original Captain America is finally coming back,” Marvel Comics editor in chief Joe Quesada told the Daily News. “We’ve been patiently planning for this moment for 21/2 years.”

Captain America will return next month in a five-comic book series, “Captain America Reborn.”

In conjunction with this, Marvel has returned Captain America to its original numbering bringing this week’s issue to #600. I haven’t had a chance to pick this up, but the reviews I’ve seen thus far reek of a shitty retconning. I’ll wait until I get the issue in my hands on it.

Ed Brubaker has yet to let me down on this title, and I have a hard time believing that he would have put all of this work into Cap only to have it turn into another Clone Saga or One More Day.

The Incredible Hulk, Now With A Dash of Tony Stark

I know I’ve been hitting you all over the head with Incredible Hulk trailers in the last couple of months, but I couldn’t help posting the most recent TV spot which oddly enough starts out with Tony Stark (probably due to the success of Iron Man). Now we just need to figure out what’s going on with this supposed Captain America cameo.

We all know that Robert Downey, Jr. filmed a cameo, but I found it a little surprising that he’s featured so prominently. Who cares, I’m heading out to see it this Friday broken foot be damned!

Captain America Hates Nazis (And So Should You)

Over at Scans Daily, I found this rather awesome post of Golden Age comics featuring superheroes beating up on Nazis. If there is anything I love more than America & Patrick Swayze … it’s beating up Nazis (or fascists in general). If I ever come across a copy of this Captain America comic I must do all in my powers to make it mine.

Captain America PWNS Hitler

Propaganda at it’s finest right there and if you check out the rest of the covers, you’ll see some rather interesting depictions of Japanese, Russians, & Italians. Those were the days right?

Head on over to Scans Daily for just some awesome panels from comics ranging from Golden Age to Modern, and some good discussion with your fellow nerds.

Cap Is Back, And He Will Shoot You

I figured that my 300th post should discuss a topic of great importance, so I figured that a discussion of the “new” Captain America fits that bill rather well. You have to hand it to Marvel, they killed off their marquee character last May and have been able to keep the story interesting and relevant through various secondary characters that were close to Steve Rogers through the years. Much of the credit (if not all) should be given to Ed Brubaker who knocks it out of the park every month with each title that he is attached too (Daredevil & Iron Fist among them).

Captain America is Back!

Captain America #34 saw Bucky Barnes, former Teen Sidekick and Winter Soldier pick up the mantle and proceed to kick some terrorist ass in a very un-Steve Rogers manner. Everyone saw this coming, but it’s still fun. It’s abundantly clear that Bucky-as-Cap is far different from Steve Rogers. He admits that he’s not as fast nor as strong, but he definitely has a different disposition to terrorist scum. Where Steve Rogers used his shield and cunning to defeat his enemies, Bucky-as-Cap has no problem busting a cap in someone’s kneecap to eliminate the threat.

Captain America is Back!

I loved Bucky as the Winter Soldier, and I’m sure I’ll love him as Cap too. Now if the rest of the Marvel U could get its act together like this title is, there’d be a lot more happier fanboys out there. Goddamn you Joe Q!